Chris Doherty's Favorite Syllogisms
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind.
Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it
wasn't for that.
Syllogism: an instance of a form of reasoning in which a conclusion is drawn (whether validly or not) from two given or assumed propositions (premises), each of which shares a term with the conclusion, and shares a common or middle term not present in the conclusion (e.g., all dogs are animals; all animals have four legs; therefore all dogs have four legs ).
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God is Love.
Love is blind. Steve Wonder is blind. Conclusion: Steve Wonder is God ! I'm nothing. Nothing is perfect. God is Perfect. So, I'm God ! If Steve Wonder is God, I'm Steve Wonder. God's Sake!...I'm blind ! My name is Charles. Charles is a noun. God is Verb, not Noun. Thus, I'm not God. The devil is ugly. My wife is ugly. You see, my wife is the devil!! After death there is a period of mourning. After the morning comes the night. On a chessboard, the knight is next to the bishop. The bishops are just below the Pope. The Pope has serious convictions. For a serious conviction, you get life. Therefore, there is life after death |
You are sad.
I am qualified to help people who are sad. I can make you happy. All New Yorkers are happy. Some people live in New York. Some people are happy. All human beings are different. All apathetic people are indifferent. Therefore, no apathetic people are human beings. Some hamsters have brown spots. My hamster has brown spots. Therefore, my hamster is some hamster! Some species are disappearing. Every animal is some species. That rabbit is an animal. Therefore, that rabbit is disappearing! Your hamster has four legs. My cat has four legs. Therefore, your hamster is MY CAT! Give it back! |
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